"...here at the end of all things"

Ah! The semester is finally over, well almost, and as usual I am the world’s greatest procrastinator. Not only do I have this blog to write up I have:

• A 5 page paper on stress, that won’t be a hard topic I’m professional at that emotion
• A 3 page report on a scripture character who experienced stress
• Clinical and skills log for my clinical evaluations
• Write a 1 page paper on globalization
• Spend 1 hr and 40 minutes reviewing tests taken previously in the semester
• Trying to get both my recommendation report and inquiry letter passed in workshop
  
• studying for finals

Wow, it’s a lot worse when I stop and write it out. It actually makes it a lot more depressing.Of course almost all of these projects have been assigned from the beginning of the semester but when a teacher assigns something with such a far away due date you never start it until the week it is due.This reminds me of yesterday in my Book of Mormon class, we were discussing a talk given by Boyd K. Packer about debts and how there is no way justice and mercy can be met without a middle man (Jesus Christ).

This talk appeared in the May of 1977 Ensign titled “The Mediator.” Packer tells of a story where a young man borrowed more than he should and when the time came to pay the debt he didn't have the funds and was in line to suffer a horrible consequence. He plead with his creditor for mercy but the creditor demanded Justice. Through a middle man both parties were able to be satisfied and only through Him. The justice and mercy we are able to receive is not free. “The extension of mercy will not be automatic. It will be through covenant with Him. It will be on His terms, His generous terms, which include, as an absolute essential, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins (Packer)”. In my situation I am the foolish debtor who is ignorant of the fact that I will soon have to pay (finish assignments) and the teachers are my creditors who demand justice. In the school scenario there is no way for both mercy and justice to be satisfied without one of both parties suffering, but in an eternal perspective it is through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was is able to accomplish receive these two gifts. I love that class, not only does it ensure I am reading my scriptures it is really nice to be spiritually fed at least three times a week. Last semester I didn’t sign up for a religion class and I could feel the impacts on my life. It was much more difficult to be in school because I wasn't as open to the spirit. I was being bad and only opening up for the spirit during church; once a week will never be enough.

Wow, that was a lot more spiritual than I expected that first paragraph to go, so onto a more vain and self centered portion—my life! So last week, or maybe it was two weeks ago—I can never remember because it’s flying by so fast, I’m starting to lose track of time, I had my giant nursing test and I didn’t do as well as I would have preferred. After that test I stopped doing homework and starting what I do best, procrastinating.

I watched the entire season 1 of Glee; everyone of the 22, 45 minute episodes in 1 week. I became an addict to the music, drama and whit the show had to offer. Even though I know every song they do is a cover, I still love to watch them perform. But luckily for me a miracle occurred, I was able to find motivation again and finish some the many projects I have glaring at me. I was petrified that I would never get out of that funk and would have to physically force myself to do schoolwork.

Oh and speaking of school—did I mention the feelings of hatred that I have aimed toward the school’s class registration system? Last night at 12:01 I should have been able to register for fall semester classes. Unfortunately at 11:30 the entire system seemed to be crawling through sludge. This happens every time I register, and every time it is just as frustrating. I kept trying to get into the system but it seemed to keep crashing so finally after an hour and a half of waiting and forcing my eyeballs to stay open I gave up and went to bed. The next morning I was able to wake up and register for everything I needed, this was really annoying because I could have been asleep by 11, but instead I was staring at a computer praying for the system to work.

I still can’t believe that the semester is almost over, I have been in school since the fall and I am so ready for the six week break. 1 year ago I was working 40 hours a week at the Paramount 5 and the Teton Vu Drive-in with my two best friends, Curt (1st picture) and Cole(2nd picture, with friend Kelsey)

These two are hilarious and are now the two cutest little nerdy missionaries. Curt in the the Denver, CO South Mission and Cole is in the Samara, Russia Mission. They both have been out since September 2009 so they are just about to hit their year mark. It is so weird to think that only last year we were staying up too late, playing games, jumping off of bridges, and working all the time. It was really hard when they both left in the same month because I had to go and rekindle old friendships. I have been writing them during their missions and it is amazing to see the difference just one year of service for the Lord can make. Both of them are seem so mature in their letters and excited about living the gospel. I hope their mothers will let me wait at the airport when they come home because I my boys.

Well I guess this is about the point where I have to wrap up my final blog. I have spent at least 7 hours in creating an account, writing the blog, and finding pictures to go in the blog. I have noticed that I feel different from when I started this blog. I have grown in many ways and have had a large amount of knowledge smashed into my brain. I hope I don’t lose any of it during the six week break because I’ve hit the point in my education where I can’t cram and binge in studying, everything I have learned I will need when I leave college.

Ah well not to be cliché and force my title form the Lord of the Rings into the closing of my blog, but “here at the at the end of all things” I can see that I need to stop what I'm doing. I need to start living my life as it’s flying by instead of waiting for it to slow down, because if I don’t stop and smell the roses I will miss everything.

"pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my open mind"

I can’t believe the semester is almost over and I keep forgetting to post these blogs…oh well I guess this has become more of a once a month thing but if it takes me a long time to write each one then I’m ok. The nursing program is still as crazy as ever, this past week we had our big skills day and I wasn’t nervous about it until I walked into the testing room.

I felt fairly good during my test; I had to perform blood sugar testing and giving insulin to a mannequin. Right when I finished with my skill I looked at my hands and realized I had forgotten the most basic nursing skill, wearing gloves. I have never forgotten to wear my gloves when I’m working with a patient but when I was with simple mannequin the though never crossed my mind, I was so mad at myself. I think I ended up passing the test but I will hear back from my proctor later this week. After this test I realized that it has finally hit me, I’ve burnt out. I’ve been in school the past three semesters without any breaks and finally after almost 10 months of studying my goose is cooked. I’m ready for summer and a break from all of the homework I am constantly doing. This past semester I am usually awake by 6:30 AM and force myself to stay in the library until 10-11ish every night to finish all of the assignments I have piled upon me. It starts to wear on you and I’ve hit the point where I just need a break, I don’t care if all I do is stay at home the whole time as long as I no longer have homework.

But I guess that’s not entirely true either because the second school is over I have to throw myself into work, 40 hours a week at the movie theater and the drive-in. It is fun to be there in short quantities but I haven’t worked the 40 hours a week thing since last summer it just starts to wear on ya. While I’m in school my weekends are dedicated to working there and I’ve hit the point where I don’t want to go to school and I don’t want to work. I want to take up the life of a coach potato for a while. I’m so desperate for this life that on Wednesday night, the night after my big test, I spent my entire time watching episodes of Glee. I couldn’t move, I just spent all my time engrossed in what was playing on my computer instead of working on my assignments. I can’t keep this up I need to find a way to stay motivated for my last three weeks of school; it’s just so hard and I don’t want to do anything.

To top off my whiner-fest my best friend Megann is about to move away to Salt Lake to do her student teaching and leave me alone. We have worked together the last three years and now she is going to leave me to rot there all by myself and I just don’t like this one bit. Ah, I hate the point when you hit the wall and have to push on through it, and all you wanna do it look at the wall and complain about it, as if complaining to it will make it easier to get through. I need to be more optimistic about all of this, it can’t be too hard. I’m usually really good at finding the positive in situation, that is one of my annoying character qualities but today I just don’t think I wanna! Oh well, I’ll stop complaining, and just push through for the next 18 days of school!

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind"

So big shocker, I have been negligent in my blog postings. I usually do a word document for the week but I keep forgetting to post them. My mind has left the building. So where to begin....mmmmm...Well let's start with the worst way to ever start a weekend. I work at the Paramount 5 and Teton view drive-in, This past Friday I was managing and we were getting Marmaduke during it's opening weekend...this is where the problems decided to begin... When you watch movies at a movie theater it's not popping in a DVD and someone pushing play, it's a little more complicated than that. The movie is shipped to the paramount a few days before the movie is suppose to play; it comes in big orange or gray cans. In the cans are reels, which have film wrapped around them. They are then taped together and put onto a platter. From this platter they are fed out through the projector and out onto another platter. It seems like a complex system but once you get the hang of it it's not that bad. Well in making the movie it must go is a specific order, the film must face a certain direction and be put in a the order the movie plays. Well Marmaduke had a problem. It's 2nd to last reel (generally the climax of the movie) was put in backwards, the end of the movie was playing before the beginning, to make it better the picture was upside down and had no sound. At the Paramount 5 this would be an inconvenient 20-30 minute fix because of the equipment available there, but the night this happened I was at the Teton Vu Drive-in. The only equipment I had was the contraption that could tape the movie back together. I could go into immense detail about how the movie had to be fixed but no one but projectionists would be able to understand and empathize with me. But I will tell you that to fix the movie it took 4 hours, we canceled the movie and started the other one. After fixing Marmaduke it had to be brought to the Paramount and preview to make sure we had put it back together right. Talk about a late night....I was lucky and was able to get home and in bed by 3 am because I convinced a co-worked to stay up and watch it. I generally would have stayed and been a good manager and watched it but I had to be at a friends' apartment at 7:30 am. We were going to Lagoon!!
I was a little excited to go, there were 9 of us who decided to go on this day trip, and I got so sunburnt in the process. My chest was bright cherry red the next day but it was completely worth it. I even built up the courage to go on the Sky Coaster, it is the giant swing
Only two of us were brave enough to go on it. This is Me and Megann, she promised me that she would go on this scary ride with me only if I pulled the rip cord, that was my down fall. Once they strap you into the harness your nerves start to run, you wonder if this contraption is actually safe....swoosh! The floor drops out from under you as they drop you from your vertical standing position to an horizontal dangling position 3 ft. above the ground. The rope tugs and you are slowly lifted up...up...up...and up. About the time you start to feel you are just getting too high you look up and realize you are only half way there. Finally you reach the top, there isn't a feeling like it...Pure terror...excitement...anxiety...you wonder how long they are gonna keep you waiting up there, it feels like eternity until you hear the golden words over a speaker, "OK fliers on the count of 3 pull the rip cord and fly, 1...2...3..fly." I freeze for a second, ripcord in hand I pull, nothing happens, I had pulled the cord to the side instead of directly out. I reposition and try again, I pull out and CHINK. The noise of the cord letting free of the claps and two bodies falling through the air, we fall for what feels like 30 seconds until the resistance of the safety cord is felt. From there was swing back and forth, stretching across part of the park, screaming like maniacs. The rush of adrenalin floated through our bodies, this euphoric feeling lasts for the rest of the day. There is nothing like free falling 150 ft, for an extra $15 extra bucks. It is worth it every time and I recommend it for everyone.
Back to school, every day in school just floats through, more assignments are piled on and more hours at the library pile up. Until today something exciting happened. Today is Wednesday, and on Wednesdays I have Lab for my Nursing 100 class. Up until now I have only felt like a CNA in the hospital setting because all we can do is hygiene care. Today in Lab we learned how to give shots! I was so excited to be able to finally feel like a nurse. We learned Intradermal, Subcutaneous, and Intramuscular shots, but only practiced the Intramuscular shots on each other; my partner and I chose, along with most of the class, the ventrogluteal muscle, the back hip. The needle wasn't that big but today was the day I felt I was becoming a true nurse, it was exciting giving my first shot and I hope I didn't hurt my partner. She did an excellent job and I have no pain from the shot. We also did something odd, we had to learn how to give Intradermal shots in case we ever need to give a TB test. To practice this one of our awesome instructors, Sister Killian, pulled out several sawed off pig's feet our of the fridge. We practiced injecting pig's feet for 20 minutes, I hope my future patients don't have skin like it did because I was afraid of the needle breaking off.
These past few days have surely been eventful and because I waited too long to blog they have probably lost some of their luster but I will keep trying to get postings up in a good time.

Reason

Why oh Why would I of all people ever start a blog? Well honestly it's for an english project in my foundations class and I figured this would be the best way to start writing. This is to begin my record of the next 4 semesters I have in school here at BYU-Idaho in the nursing program. To begin I will share the few adventures I've had so far this semester. They involve my Family Home Evening group. We went to the Ice Caves near the St. Anthony sand dunes twice and they were so much fun! I don't have many pictures but here are a few. This is my last roommate Aubrey, dangling off the entrance to the caves. We had to ride in the back of a truck, car thing, to get back to the main road because our little car couldn't make it off roading to the caves. This is inside the cave and after 15-20 min of spelunking, crawling and wiggling through tight spaces you end up in a big antechamber with an ice slide! This is from our second trip to the another set of caves that were much more open and didn't involve getting wet. Last fall when I went to the cave there was a dead cow at the entrence, this spring the cow is still there but less whole...

Overall that is the extent of my exciting adventures this fall but I needed a break from my current spot in the library. Oh yeah, I have a spot. Sometime rude people decide to study in my spot and I feel the need to pull a Rory Gilmore and pay them to leave, but I am a poor student so that wasn't very feasible, economically. I began the nursing program at the end of April 2010. Our first day was the Monday before classes started, it began at 8 am and ended at 4 pm. After the orientation I went home, kicked off my shoes, dragged myself up the stairs and plopped on the coach. My brain hurt from all the information that had just been shoved into my head, I sat on the couch wondering if I had made a right choice being in the nursing program. Doubts flooded my thoughts and I wondered if I was actually capable of being a nurse. Instead of automatically quitting I stuck out the program and have only regretted it a few times...but not really. I knew this program was going to be hard, but I don't think i actually thought out how hard it would be. I am awake by 6:30 am almost every morning (except Fridays, I sleep til 11 am, or Mondays I am up at 4:30 am). If I'm lucky I get home by 9:30 but usually I get home with enough time to crawl into bed and crash. It has become part of my routine and has been much easier with the whole not dating or socializing thing. Well this is all for my first official blog, more will come, generally the more posts I have will be my indicator for how much I wanted to procrastinate.